I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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