well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize