Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
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Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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