I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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