i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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