Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
