Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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