i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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