He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
