I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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