Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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