Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
