i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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