only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
