yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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