made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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