girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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