Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
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Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
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just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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