I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
