All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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