Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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