I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
