I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize