Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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