well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
