I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We got so high we made milksteak
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
