so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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