Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize