why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
