Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
