The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
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he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
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He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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