paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
My cat gives me a boner
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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