I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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