Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
