i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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