I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you didnt know i had herpes?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
