Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize