I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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