i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize