you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Randomize
