turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
