i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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