Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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