Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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