Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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