Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
