Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
