Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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