it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
