My sheets look like a crime scene.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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