we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
