You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I can't put those talents on a resume
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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