Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
