we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
