I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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