I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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