How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize