She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
