my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
