so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
