I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
