if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
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