Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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