Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Text me some of your sweat
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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