yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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